The Question on Jodoh

Recently a close friend from secondary school got engaged.

I don’t know many details because distance grew us apart, but I’m very happy for him. He’s a nice guy, he told me I will like her.

Two people have decided to take the next step in their relationship and commit to a life of forever and after.

While I haven’t even found anybody.

He told me “You don’t need to be in a relationship to give a relationship advice.”

All right. I’ll just need to be open then.

So in the quest of being open to accepting someone in my life, someone else told me about seeing signs that someone is meant for you.

How? I asked.

She mentioned about how colours, patterns, and shapes, all have a meaning. If I could find the relationship between them, then that means something.

I just listened.

You see, we are very good at being biased. Our minds can just make sense out of everything when we want to.

As a naive teenager, I used to look at this deeply and thought David Archuleta was really the one for me. His songs resonated with me, our childhood seemed similar and the things he talked about were the same as mine.

But is that the truth, or was I just nitpicking and making them what I wanted to hear?

For now, I’ve stopped trying to make sense out of everything. I’ve found that we really can shape the world according to how we want it to be.

And for a long time I’ve believed that men are too stupid, boring, uninteresting, for women “like me”.

But is that really the truth, or who I’ve projected myself to be and how I see men in general?

It is the latter.

For women like me? Who is like me?

Nobody is like me, because in the end, who am I, anyway?

A Nobody.

So I’m just letting go of everything I’ve thought that was true about myself, and who knows what will happen.

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