I Give Up

Somehow my internet is acting up, so I’m taking the opportunity to update my blog.

I’ve decided that my site is going to be more on my “personal” updates. Whatever that means.

I feel everything about my life is more mapped out now as more and more things make sense. It’s still very slow, but I appreciate the moments I’m able to slowly sip and breathe life.

Time and time again I see how giving up is always a great thing to do because giving up doesn’t mean THE END. It means leaving all the dusty old collected thinking I have about something and allowing room for new thoughts to come in.

A few weeks ago I was sort of blocked in “ideas” and I just had no idea what I was to do with a project I’m working on Insight Waves. My mind was just blocked with DO DO DO DO DO and found myself sort of frustrated from the fact that I didn’t know what to DO. A lady from a faculty of the University of Minnesota contacted me and told me she was interested in what I wanted to do. She offered me resources, but still I said “but this is not…” “but I need…”. I looked through the resources she gave anyway, decided to “let go” of the things I wanted to “do”, and poof it’s like the dam leaked and new ideas started flowing in.

It’s that I already knew what I wanted to do, but my thinking about doing it was the dam that blocked the water behind it all. And all these are happening inside me.

I need to remind myself time and time again to give up.

Oh, I was going to write down something that’s been bothering me but now it doesn’t even matter anymore that I’ve forgotten about it.

Update: Okay now I remember.

Update: I wrote this last week, and after writing “Okay now I remember” I got something else to do. Now I’ve forgotten about it. Which means it doesn’t really bother me after all.

I’m giving up thinking of what to write.



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